Fading dreams

When did your dreams begin to fade? Was it that you succumbed to the inevitable reality of your life? or that you began to recognize the pearls that lie hidden within the ordinary?

Dreams? I've had many. Dreams of revolutions that level the plain field, that cross the divide between rich and poor, that bring peace and justice for all... oh yeah... such dreams that stoke the fire of my childhood and youth.

And tonight, because of that damn Margarita that I drank, I feel the pain of such dreams never realizing, of feeling, perhaps too old, too tired, or too busy living, too powerless to make them a reality!

Revolution???? no such thing! I'm staying away from cops so they don't give me a parking ticket because, God Damn it!  if I get a ticket, how the hell could I pay it?!

Dreams of a family? of a mom and a dad... bullshit! that's for sure! I got divorced! ha! i got divorced! because simply said... love just was not enough, was not there, was not what we were looking for.

Teaching? yeah.. that's right... being a great teacher, changing lives, inspiring, molding, fighting! young people filled with hope???? nope... perhaps filled with bag! I have also failed as a teacher...

My dreams seemed to be fading fast... the problem is that I have nothing else to hold unto! if they disappear  then what fuels my hope? hope in what? going where?

In this land, this arid land, hope rapidly loses its meaning and I rapidly lose my life.